Lurking in the background. Trying to find words that work. Not sure if they do.
Smoke and Mirrors
He kissed her, as he always had.
His hand wrapped her throat, pulling her to his embrace.
He poured himself inside her, more now than ever before.
He closed his eyes to the moment, to feel her lips respond to his.
It was in the quiet of that touch he realised she wasn’t there, she was not with him even though she was held within his arms.
Her lips were crushed beneath his but they did not fight back.
Her mind did not melt inside her body, it stood apart, elsewhere.
Her hand on his chest a barrier, not a sign of tenderness.
She was but smoke and mirrors.
He couldn’t hold her, she drifted in and out, refusing to stay in focus.
He couldn’t see inside her, she reflected only what she wanted him to see.
She was his but she wasn’t.
Her smile for him an unreadable message, a code he couldn’t break.
He wondered how long she had been smoke and mirrors.
He let the kiss drift away.
He let his hand fall to his side.
The memory of her touch a false hope still stinging on his lips.
The Dirty Romantic
I grabbed her by the throat but I didn’t choke her. Just kissed her so deep she forgot whose air she was breathing.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
Q:Post a selfie. I think about you. A lot.
Sorry. But you already know the answer to this one. :)
No selfies. No real details out in the big bad world.
My icon is me though. That is my own actual personal physically attached hand. I will admit it was taken a while ago so I can’t guarantee it is a true representation of my current hand. But it is probably about as close as we are going to get.
But I’m glad the words have stuck with you and make you think about them.
Q:Elegantly modest. I like that.
Glad you enjoyed the reply. I actually really rather like the word elegant, it has a certain historical panache to it that is a pleasing departure to today’s brash world.
Having said that although it might relate to my words, I’m not so convinced that it totally applies to me.
But I think I probably can be as the need arises.
Q:My hazel eyed, slightly out of condition middle aged sexy...I mean very sexy writer. I miss you. You're taking this long so I'm expecting a book.
I’m afraid you shouldn’t expect some great opus because of this prolonged absence.
My words are missing at the moment and are remaining elusive. I am working to find them again but the little buggers are far too good at hiding.
And the last thing I want to do is to make the first thing I produce after all this time a poor example of what I can do.
The whole culture is telling you to hurry, while the art tells you to take your time. Always listen to the art.
Q:What color are your eyes? I know I know it's personal information...off limits right? But come on give a girl a clue! Ok fine how about your height? We can't possibly deduce who you are by these common traits
This will be the last ask answered for a while as I’ve turned off Ask/Submit while I’m away but this was here before I turned it all off.
I was going to say piercing blue eyes, 6’3”, strong jawline outlined by a fine beard and athletic build adorned by tattoos as that is what to some the perfect stereo-type would be to fulfill the ideal fantasy of brain and body.
Then I wondered if saying plain old brown, 5’2” and morbidly obese would make a difference to how the writing and words were perceived? Would it matter who was behind the words?
However both answers seemed really quite churlish to a simple question of curiosity. It is probably more reflective of my current mood than what I really think, an indication of why I need to be away for a while.
As I’ve said before I’d rather the words stood on their own rather than be attached to any idea of me. Anyway the reality is boringly average - Hazel eyes, 5’10”, slightly out of condition middle aged man.
I need to go and lose myself amongst the bookshelves for a while, I will be sometime. I don’t know when or if I will be back.
But there are things I need to learn there before I will be ready to return.
Thank you to those who have been a friend while I have been here. I hope to come back at some point.
The Dirty Romantic
"NOTHING….is becoming rare and precious.
Everything is hype, noise, desire, desperation, speed and greed. We in the modern world are good at ‘doing,’ but anemic at ‘being.’
Entertainment, busy-ness, texting while walking or even driving…
'Efficiency’ is an addictive myth based on our fidgety fear of opening up. We can not ‘do’ properly until we can, first, ‘be’ fully.
Practice doing nothing - then - we can accomplish…ANYTHING.”
It is time to do nothing here in the hope of achieving something important elsewhere.
The only way you will ever awaken is through silence, not through analyzation of facts.
Not by sorting out good and bad, but through simple silence, letting go.
Letting go of all thoughts, all the hurts, all the dogmas and concepts.
Letting go of these things daily.